Valentines day never really meant much to me. Maybe because I never seemed have a partner on that day, or truthfully because I thought it was cheesy. Plus there’s all that pressure to be with someone…especially if you’ree single!
Well, for the longest time love definitely wasn’t one of my favorite things to talk about or even feel. A friend of mine recently spoke about his challenges on finding love, and I was surprised to hear how he lived in the “dark” for long that when love finally showed up, he could hardly recognize it! As he spoke about his journey in finding self love, it reminded me of my own trials and triumphs in even being comfortable with the word LOVE!Ha! And learning to embrace those parts of me that weren’t ideal.
I think that’s what always held me back from truly loving me. I thought that I had to be perfect-inside and out. I felt like I had to clear out all the “clutter” and accumulate new healthy clutter before I could prove it to myself that I was good enough. To some degree I think I found this to be true…
Now that I think about it, I was always living in the light…but I decided at some point that it was easier to sit in the dark. And it was actually. When I started traveling and experiencing different cultures and family dynamics, and watching people love each other. It showed me that there was different ways to live life and love.
Recently an “old” issue re emerged and I began to re live a moment of self hate. It was something that I thought I had already processed and had been done with. For it to show up years later, NOW of all time, I was devastated. Wasn’t I over all that stuff already? Funny thing is I knew it was silly to be upset, but I was. And I felt stuck.
I was talking to a friend about it and she happened to say exactly what I already knew. ” You have to accept who you are Jenny, and how you’re experiencing all this. Be okay that you are upset about the ‘set back'” ACCEPTANCE has been a huge teacher of mine on this path to loving myself. I was so caught up in my own drama that I wasn’t able to see it.
I believe that we make a conscious choice whether we want to live in the light or not. People fear the unknown, and hide behind their shadows only to confront them later in life. You all know what I mean, right?! It’s easy to love all the good stuff about us, but what about the other stuff?
Remedy: Acceptance requires surrender, and surrender requires us to be vulnerable enough to sit through some of those uncomfortable feelings . But once we do, its not such a stranger to us, and it becomes so much easier to love ourselves exactly as we are!
I dedicate this month to continuing to love mySelf. When we cultivate and put our attention in growing love from within, like a bee to a flower, we will attract just that. Whether it be a partner, or other aspects of loving goodness… I’m also dedicated to holding space for others to deepen that connection with themselves. That is why I am putting together these two amazing workshops, perfect for the Love month that is just around the corner!
Check them out!
Speed Dating for Yogi’s and the Conscious minded folks. This is for all my single Yogi friends out there who want to meet REAL people!! This is a great way to put yourself out there. Even if your not looking for a serious relationship, but want to explore yourself in a different way. I challenge you to come and play!
Also I’ll be holding monthly workshops dedicated to women, mothers, and children. Ill be hosting Cucci as our special guest. I love these ladies! They will bring in “play” toys and show us how to get our Kundalini rising! As well as informing us on our female anatomy and how we can apply these toys to get the best out of them!